Welcome to Mom Club

The first rule of Mom Club is:  You always talk about Mom Club.

The second rule of Mom Club is:  You ALWAYS talk about Mom Club. 

The third rule of Mom Club is:  If someone yells "STOP," or starts looking uncomfortable, you have to stop talking about Mom Club.  (Including your horrific birth experience)

I sincerely hope this doesn't make me sound like a bad person - and forgive the double standard (because I know I talk about pregnancy...a lot) - but does it have to be the only subject we talk about anymore?  For instance, I think we had some pretty cool conversations pre-pregnancy...say, about music, pets, crafting, what treasure was found at the thrift store, and the latest gossip about town. 

So, if I change the subject next time you're telling me about your mucous plug - don't be offended.  I'm just trying to milk my last few months of pre-parenthood autonomy for all they're worth. 

The Fetus VS. Fantasy Football

Very few things make men more uncomfortable than details about the female reproductive system. 

Very few things annoy me more than the intricacies of fantasy football.

Considering the fact that Eric (bless his heart) is part of, not one, but TWO, fantasy football leagues; I am hereby making the executive decision to bring up a) breastfeeding, b) mucus plugs,  or c) poopy diapers any time I have to hear about how many points his wide receiver or T.O. scored him in any given week.

This is not to be vindictive - no - only a benign retaliation. 

So bring it on, football season.  By the time this little fetus is the size of a pigskin, I'm gonna have some serious ammo to dish out - here we come, Ochocinco!  I'm going on the offensive this fall.